You’d think of sanity.

Well, finaly discharged! Yeah, yesterday was my last day at the Phsychiatric hostpital. I’m not to sure if that’s a good thing, really. I miss the feeling of being ‘’safe”, like nothing could get you while you were behind those walls. I’ve thought about lots of stuff yesterday, this might be a long post, unless we decide to leave for school a bit early. I’ve got 15 minutes.

The anti-depressants they’ve put me on are working wonders. I woke up with a smile on my face this morning for no apparent reason. I feel happy. I am happy. Even though theres so much shit that hasn’t been settled, i feel happy inside and out. It’s an extatic feeling.

Couldn’t get much sleep last night though, thoughts kept coming in and racing through my head. I met a wonderfull girl at the hostpital. She is so amazing. We got put together as roomates, and we created a friendship instantly. We’ve stayed up late talking and laughing until we’d cry..Wich is super ironic for a Phsyc ward if i do say so myself. We could relate to alot of our problems, i don’t want to go into detail for privacy issues on her case, but, all i can say is, you’ve got to meet this girl.

Today, i’ve got a meeting at school with the vice-princaple, just to see where we go from here and what’s gonna go on with my grades and my exams. I’m super exited to go to school today. I havn’t seen my friends for 15 days..any of them..I miss them -terribly- and my exitement is bubbling out of my head (:. I might just drive my mom crazy on our way there lol. But, i am deafinetly not looking forward to this weekend and monday. I’ve got to tell my dad and his girlfriend that they’re moving way to fast for me..We just got out of a one year thing where we didin’t talk whatsoever, and they’re bringing me back into their lives, when nothing has changed..like if nothing happend..He still drinks violently, still does drugs and doesn’t bother hiding it..Even smoked up with me a few times…The only reason why i did this, was because i really wanted to fix our relationship…But i’m not comfortable with the idea, and it’s this very idea that ruined us in the first place..I’ve got to talk to them, because, they invited me over this weekend, and i’m still not in a very stable condition, drugs will only make things worst..How do you tell your own father that you need him to back off..Withought hurting h im?!…It’s not possible, he -will- get hurt..So will i..And so will the whole friggen family…Then, Monday..I’m about to do the unspeakable..I’ve got an appointement at the Eating Disorders clinic..And let me tell you, i’m absoloutely terrified of giving this up..It make sme feel safe.. Maybe, i’ll just go in there, just to see what my options are, see what exactly it is sorta thing.

Anyway, i’ve gotta get to school, so i’ll rant more later on :p

Have a wonderfull day everyone!! Looove